I'm Not Crazy, I"m Just a Little Unwell

Blogs are a strange beast. As you type out your thoughts and then press the 'publish' button, you put yourself out there for the whole world to see. As a result, I don't really put a bunch of personal information in my blog. First, it's not really my style, and two, I can't get past feeling I'll divulge some salient personal point will come back to haunt me some day. And yet, there are times when reality creeps into the realm of blogsphere to such a point that they cannot be separated.

This is one of those times.

I originally set up this blog to be the way I share some of my hobbies and interests. Fiber, letterboxing, general interests, travel and whatever else I decided would merit worthiness. And, over the past couple of months, I've found no lack of things the talk about, which is really no surprise. I have no lack of things to talk about now. What I lack is the energy and motivation.

For the past couple of years, I have been plagued by some mysterious illness that apparently is nameless and doesn't show itself on any tests. I've been to half a dozen doctors, been subject to sleep studies (oy vey), physical therapy, x-rays, MRIs, have given what seems like gallons of blood, all to be told that everything seems 'normal'. That there's no discernible reason for the pain, fatigue and headaches I've been experiencing. I endure as much as I can, but some times, it's too much, even for me. This is one of those times.

So, that brings me to the blog. There just isn't much interesting going on in my hobby world at the moment. But, as weird as it may sound, I am knitting compulsively. It helps to take my mind off of some of the discomfort and to distract me. However, it doesn't make for interesting knitting, since I can't concentrate on patterns or charts. As a result, The Stoli has been sidelined. My EZ Pi shawl is sideline, as it's in the middle of a pattern. I am knitting a generic pair of sock with an easy repeat pattern as well as a huge messenger-style bag that requires only endless stockinette at this point. I'm also working on a mitered square blanket, but I find myself frogging about every other square when I miscount and mess up the miter.

Not only that, but I start work on Tuesday. This isn't inspiring the usual enthusiasm. I'm doing the doctor rounds again, in the hope that something, anything, will show up. It would be easier knowing what direction to take than just wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

Title taken from the lyric of Unwell by Match Box Twenty