I'm Not Crazy, I"m Just a Little Unwell

Blogs are a strange beast. As you type out your thoughts and then press the 'publish' button, you put yourself out there for the whole world to see. As a result, I don't really put a bunch of personal information in my blog. First, it's not really my style, and two, I can't get past feeling I'll divulge some salient personal point will come back to haunt me some day. And yet, there are times when reality creeps into the realm of blogsphere to such a point that they cannot be separated.

This is one of those times.

I originally set up this blog to be the way I share some of my hobbies and interests. Fiber, letterboxing, general interests, travel and whatever else I decided would merit worthiness. And, over the past couple of months, I've found no lack of things the talk about, which is really no surprise. I have no lack of things to talk about now. What I lack is the energy and motivation.

For the past couple of years, I have been plagued by some mysterious illness that apparently is nameless and doesn't show itself on any tests. I've been to half a dozen doctors, been subject to sleep studies (oy vey), physical therapy, x-rays, MRIs, have given what seems like gallons of blood, all to be told that everything seems 'normal'. That there's no discernible reason for the pain, fatigue and headaches I've been experiencing. I endure as much as I can, but some times, it's too much, even for me. This is one of those times.

So, that brings me to the blog. There just isn't much interesting going on in my hobby world at the moment. But, as weird as it may sound, I am knitting compulsively. It helps to take my mind off of some of the discomfort and to distract me. However, it doesn't make for interesting knitting, since I can't concentrate on patterns or charts. As a result, The Stoli has been sidelined. My EZ Pi shawl is sideline, as it's in the middle of a pattern. I am knitting a generic pair of sock with an easy repeat pattern as well as a huge messenger-style bag that requires only endless stockinette at this point. I'm also working on a mitered square blanket, but I find myself frogging about every other square when I miscount and mess up the miter.

Not only that, but I start work on Tuesday. This isn't inspiring the usual enthusiasm. I'm doing the doctor rounds again, in the hope that something, anything, will show up. It would be easier knowing what direction to take than just wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

Title taken from the lyric of Unwell by Match Box Twenty

On Becoming The Stoli Svengali

When we last left our intrepid heroine, she was have a slight difference of opinion with The Stoli. Never one to let something as inconsequential as string get the better of her, our heroine regrouped, formed a new plan of attack (very similar to Napoleon’s famed three pronged attack at Waterloo), and began her assault on Clue 3. I am happy to report it was a success. Sorry, the picture isn't better. We all know my camera woes.

I finally decided that I have to knit The Stoli my way. I still follow the pattern and all that, but I came to realized that like most things in my life, I process knitting charts differently. Working it row by row is a recipe for disaster tinking. I have to break it down into more reasonable mathematical components to make sense. This isn’t unusual for me. I’ve always been a whole to part thinker. Here’s what I did:

Divide each row into 5 parts. The two border sections have 21 stitches in them, leaving 57 stitches in the middle portion. Generally, this wouldn’t be a problem, except this particular portion of the pattern is symmetrical. That means you knit 28 stitches, hit the middle stitch, then knit the remaining 28 stitches in the reverse of the pattern for the first 28. Are you totally confused yet? Yeah, it was having that effect on me as well, and I decided that trying to think in 57 stitches, much less a whole row of 99 stitches, was beyond what my logical sequential brain could handle. So, I broke it up into 5 portions. The two 21 stitch edges, the two 28 stitch ‘innards’ and the 1 middle stitch.

R21 + R28 + M1 + L28 + L21 = 99 Total

Works for me.

I put stitch markers on the needles in the appropriate places.

Yes, that means I do have one stitch with a stitch marker on either side in the middle of the work. And, yes, it means there’s some fiddling with the markers when I have to do a K2tog or S1 K2tog PSSO in the middle. But, the number of stitches stay consistent. I double check my numbers when I’m doing the wrong side purl stitches.

I also put in life lines (dental floss, in this case) every 25 rows. I leave them in until I complete the clue to ensure I’ve gotten the pattern correct.

Once I’m sure I’ve completed the clue correctly, I slide the life lines out, place a new one at the beginning of the new clue and as EZ would say, “Knit on”. The rest of chart 3 was completed with little bloodshed.

As for the chart, I’ve OCD’ed it as well. With 3 different colored highlight markers by my side, I color the bead stitches pink, the row to be knitted yellow, and as I complete it, I mark it off in green. I've used a red Sharpie to draw vertical lines for my 5 sections. You can also see my own writing where I write in the number of knit stitches. This may seem like a lot of work up front, but I'm knitting much faster and with fewer mistakes, so it can't be all bad.

I have to say, with this more OCD defined system, I’ve been less likely to make mistakes, and the ones I have made (usually a missed or dropped yarn over), I can pick up much more quickly. At this point, I’ve not had to tink back at all, but could correct my mistakes when knitting the WS row.

I also made some executive decisions about some things on the needles. I had an EZ Pi shawl I was almost ready to knit the edge on, and decided I didn’t like it. I had made a ton of mistakes while knitting it, and knitted with doubled yarn at first, only to decide about 1/3 of the way through I didn’t like that and abandoned it for single strand. The patterns were off, I’m not sure there were the right number of stitches, and I had no plan while I was knitting it. As a result, it was a truly fugly piece of work. The only thing I did like about it was the yarn and colorway, which was Ironstone flake cotton. I decided to start over.

The Pi Jellyfish and Pi, unblocked and waiting to be frogged

MUC assist with the frogging

And, Frog Pi.

And, now on to something completely different....Friday was my birthday. We'll not discuss the year. I'd just as soon not bother, but it's important to Things 1 and 2. Here are a few of the things I received, and yes, I'm that weird that these are all things that I enjoy. And, yeah, Dr. Lucy, I got my urine colored roses.

I’m a Hurdy-Gurdy Girl in a Crab Show World

Apparently, I’ve angered the lace knitting gods. The Stoli**, my knitting, the chart pattern, the mathematics, the placement of the stars, Uranus in retrograde and I are no longer in sync. Okay, forget about my anus. But still, I can’t get past the first 4 lines of the chart for clue 3. I started last night while the kids were playing before bed. I was alone, I was uninterrupted, I was appropriately caffeinated, and I couldn’t make the stitches and numbers work. After 2 and a half hours of knitting, tinking*, knitting, cursing, tinking, counting, cursing some more, recounting, tinking, double-checking my math, taking deep breathing, and knitting, I was only on the third line of the chart, and I was ready to commit hari-kari or throw the knitting at the wall. I opted instead to go read some email.

I’m glad I did.

I received an email from Dr. Lucy, who told me she was reading the blog, but for the life of her couldn’t figure out the hurdy gurdy I made. I about peed my pants from laughing so hard, and woke up Thing 2 (MUC) in the process. The really sad part is I didn’t have to think for an instant what she was talking about. I knew immediately she was referring to this. As I giggled and chuckled my way through some surfing, I started thinking about the language my family and friends use, and the way we process. Maybe everyone does this, and I don’t know it, or maybe me and mine are just a bunch of weirdos. My family and friends have an alarming tendency to use euphemisms that are incomprehensible to the outside world.

Case in point #1: The Chicken Store

My kids have an exceptional gift for understatement. There was a time when I was going through a bad patch, Nec was working at lot, and the kids still required feeding. Enter Zaxby’s, which was ridiculously close to my house. The food is good, you can get extra fries, and I like their honey mustard sauce, so it was a winner all around. So, there was a time when we were eating Zaxby’s two or three times a week. In front of our local store is a sign that looks like this:

My kids have never been inside, since there is a ‘drive-thru’ type feature, but they knew the building and the sign. I knew it was time to find a new place to eat when I hear from the backseat, “But, Mommie, we don’t want Chicken Store tonight.”

After that night, every time we would drive by and the kids would see the sign (or a Zaxs sign anywhere), the kids would yell, “There’s a Chicken Store.”

Thus, it’s been “The Chicken Store” in this house ever since.

Case in point #2: The Crab Show.

Dr Lucy, on some occasion that probably included copious amounts of alcohol, asked Sarge and me if our respective spouses watched “The Crab Show”. Without thinking, blinking or nodding, both of us answered with a resounding, “Hell, yes!” What, you may ask, is “The Crab Show”? It’s a Discovery Channel show whose ‘real’ title is The Deadliest Catch. It’s all about crab fishing off the Alaskan coast. Total man show, and apparently very popular with the husband crowd. Dr. Lucy swears she has witnessed man-tears from Mahcus over The Crab Show, and I can say with all authority that Necropolis can tell you the names of all the boats ships as well as which hairy, unwashed dude captain goes with.

In conversation on the way to the mountains, I relayed Dr. Lucy’s new term to Necropolis, at which he burst out laughing. I really gave it no more thought, since it was more a mention in passing than a discussion and dissection. One evening later in the week, Nec’s playing some computer game, I’m knitting The Stoli (successfully at this point), the kids are all nestled, and the TV is on as background noise. Suddenly, Nec pops up.

“Turn the channel.”

Me: “To what? I’m watching Law and Order, Criminal Intent.”

“You’ve seen this one. I’ve seen this one. Ice Truckers is on.”

“Ice Truckers? You’ve GOT to be kidding me. I’m watching Chris Noth here.”

“Nope, it’s about these truckers who drive over iced-over lakes in Canada. It’s not as good as “The Crab Show” though.”

I about choked when I heard that, and promptly got online to email Dr. Lucy about her influence.

Just to let you know....your influence is far and wide.

Nec now refers to 'that program' as The Crab Show in conversation.

The response I received:

Yay! Don't feel left out - we had The Chicken Store for dinner last week.

* Tinking - Tink is "knit" backwards and also the sound the needles make clicking against each other as you take out your knitting one stitch at a time.

** The Stoli – my MS3 thus christened, since it’s takes a liberal pour in my OJ to keep from throwing the thing in the trash.

Building a Mystery

You're so beautiful

With an edge and charm

but so careful

When I'm in your arms

Cause you're working

Building a mystery

Holding on and holding it in

Yeah you're working

Building a mystery

And choosing so carefully.

-- Building a Mystery by Sarah McLachlan

I've been living these lyrics for the past few evenings, and finally completed Clue 2 on the MS3. I have to wait until Things 1 & 2 are either in bed or doing something with Necropolis, because I really have to concentrate and count on this thing. With this past clue, I got stuck at line 139 (of 150) and couldn't resolve it, so this one spent some time in the bag while I came back from frustration land and could sit down with fresh eyes. I finally had to frog about 10 rows and re knit from where I *knew* I was correct. I should have just done that from the beginning, because after I did that, the thing knitted up fairly easily. In the next couple of days, I'll pick up Clue 3 and hopefully I'll be finished by Friday and on track when Clue 4 comes out.

But because it's NEVER enough, late last night after finishing Clue 2, I picked up some crochet cotton and started trying my hand at center knit whitework. I'm not really using any particular pattern, but I found some old style things here, and I'm working on piecing some of them together like Frankenstein's monster. The problem is the notations are majorly strange. I don't know if it's me or the pattern, but after a dozen mis-starts, I finally just decided to use the pattern as a guide and do what works for me. So far, that seems to be working. Here's the current project.

And, all that whining I did in my last post about lack of fiber? Oh ye of little faith. This was waiting from The Jolly Postman when I returned home from the mountains.